FIC: Birthday Surprises by Grondfic
Jul. 25th, 2022 02:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
grondficWarning for: shameless self-insertion/MarySue
Fandom: Robin of Sherwood/Real(?) Life
With thanks to:rusty_armour for the card (below) Also raven214, isadenavarre and karen9 (on LJ); thisbluespirit (on DW), plus C from Australia and M from Poland (via email) for your good wishes on my rather too high a numberth birthday.
This is for y’all! xxxxx
Fandom: Robin of Sherwood
What happens when you receive a card like this ........
https://rusty-armour.dreamwidth.org/191763.html
Considering I’ve been a fangirl of hisfor nigh on 38 years since The Beginning, Guy of Gisburne isn’t looking particularly gratified.
“I’m doing this under duress!” he announces haughtily, “And before you even THINK of it ... NOOO!! I m NOT going to be one of the six naked men!”
“In that case,” I declare (jutting my jaw in what I hope is a feisty manner), “I get to choose who The Six will be. Deal?”
Guy considers this.
“No outlaws, no filthy Saxons, no Templars and no guest-villains!” he replies eventually.
“Oookay. Well then – I’ll start with Prince John .. and don’t you DARE tell me he was a guest-villain – to you!”
Guy wrinkles his nose.
“I concede!” he concedes, “Prince John. One down five to go. And..?”
“Well, I’d be a fool not to have Bertrand de Nivelles – especially after Hooded Man 2022!”
Guy gulps.
“Ve-e-r-ry well. Agreed .. ON CONDITION ... you don’t ask him anything about him and me; and our time together.”
“Guy,” I say patiently, “He’s going to be naked! AM I going to be asking him any extraneous questions?”
“Wouldn’t put it past you,” replies Guy sulkily, “Next?”
“Ralph of Huntingdon!” I announce with an evil grin.
“Wipe that silly smile off your face,” says Guy irritably, “Three to go. Next?”
“Lucifer. And before you say he’s a guest villain – no! That would be Morgwyn of Ravenscar for that episode. Lucifer didn’t ASK to be invoked; therefore he just counts as an extra. The fact that I got his autograph at the 2014 Con has nothing to do with it!”
“See if I care! Next?”
“OK now we come to it – You! I APPEAL TO THE SHERIFF, whose orders you are following. So...??”
“Damn you!”
“Oh, come ON! I’ve been your loyal fanfor 38 years since 1984. You owe me, and it’s my ... 21st birthday.”
“RIIIGHT! I’ll do it, provided I get to choose the sixth. You’ve had a damn good run for your money; so – deal?”
“It’s not gonna be the Sheriff himself is it?”
“Why would I want HIM involved? And nude into the bargain? I saw plenty enough of THAT before the bees arrived and saved my blushes,” Guy shudders, “No, I can guarantee it’s not him. Well?”
“OK ... I guess.”
“Heh! You’re gonna LURVE this. THE OLD PRISONER!”
“NOOO! At least let Arthur Rat come along for the ride!” I plead desperately.
“It’s a given. The old sod won’t go anywhere without that tatty rodent. I wish you much joy of the pair of them.”
“At least tell me you’re providing the birthday cake as well. Otherwise you’ll have to wait for me to order my favourite Linzer Torte from a bijou little bakery in Islington! And it’ll be a bit ... limited as regards the space inside.”
“Cake courtesy of Abbot Hugo and the Nunnery of the Little Sisters of Saint Mary Berry!” replies Guy with aplomb, “Now, stand back, babes. We’re coming through!!”
The next few minutes are chaotic as a giant, 3-tier cake hovers in my living room and I have to re-direct it through the glass door to the garden where there is more space. A trail of crumbs follows in its wake, dropped by Arthur Rat who is desperately gnawing a large hole in the bottom tier so that the Old Prisoner can exit – feet first of course. It’s the only way.
“Ready!” calls the old man in muffled tones from within the cake.
Next instant he’s shot out of the ragged hole on his back.
“Thanks for the help shoving me, Arthur!”
“Anytime, boss!” Arthur appears through the gap blowing on his front paws, “Nah-then, if you’ll ‘scuse me, I gotta date with some tasty crumbs in honour of Grondfic’s burfday.”
As Arthur vanishes back into the depths of the cake, the top tier bursts open and everyone else is shot out into the stratosphere. They all land in a heap on top of the Old Prisoner. A fight immediately breaks out.
“Stop this – all of you!” I scream, “You’re ruining my birthday surprise!”
“Too bad!” yells Guy from the top of the heap, “You should have chosen a load of more peaceful characters – like Sergeant Sparrow or Much’s granddad. Now it’s too late. Hasta la vista, baby!”
.... and everything goes dark.....
I wake up to find I’ve been asleep over my laptop. The sofa is no longer comfortable, but lumpy; and my neck is cricked.
The time-display tells me it’s 3.00am and no longer my birthday.
Dammit!
Fandom: Robin of Sherwood/Real(?) Life
With thanks to:
rusty_armour for the card (below) Also raven214, isadenavarre and karen9 (on LJ); thisbluespirit (on DW), plus C from Australia and M from Poland (via email) for your good wishes on my This is for y’all! xxxxx
Fandom: Robin of Sherwood
What happens when you receive a card like this ........
https://rusty-armour.dreamwidth.org/191763.html
Considering I’ve been a fangirl of his
“I’m doing this under duress!” he announces haughtily, “And before you even THINK of it ... NOOO!! I m NOT going to be one of the six naked men!”
“In that case,” I declare (jutting my jaw in what I hope is a feisty manner), “I get to choose who The Six will be. Deal?”
Guy considers this.
“No outlaws, no filthy Saxons, no Templars and no guest-villains!” he replies eventually.
“Oookay. Well then – I’ll start with Prince John .. and don’t you DARE tell me he was a guest-villain – to you!”
Guy wrinkles his nose.
“I concede!” he concedes, “Prince John. One down five to go. And..?”
“Well, I’d be a fool not to have Bertrand de Nivelles – especially after Hooded Man 2022!”
Guy gulps.
“Ve-e-r-ry well. Agreed .. ON CONDITION ... you don’t ask him anything about him and me; and our time together.”
“Guy,” I say patiently, “He’s going to be naked! AM I going to be asking him any extraneous questions?”
“Wouldn’t put it past you,” replies Guy sulkily, “Next?”
“Ralph of Huntingdon!” I announce with an evil grin.
“Wipe that silly smile off your face,” says Guy irritably, “Three to go. Next?”
“Lucifer. And before you say he’s a guest villain – no! That would be Morgwyn of Ravenscar for that episode. Lucifer didn’t ASK to be invoked; therefore he just counts as an extra. The fact that I got his autograph at the 2014 Con has nothing to do with it!”
“See if I care! Next?”
“OK now we come to it – You! I APPEAL TO THE SHERIFF, whose orders you are following. So...??”
“Damn you!”
“Oh, come ON! I’ve been your loyal fan
“RIIIGHT! I’ll do it, provided I get to choose the sixth. You’ve had a damn good run for your money; so – deal?”
“It’s not gonna be the Sheriff himself is it?”
“Why would I want HIM involved? And nude into the bargain? I saw plenty enough of THAT before the bees arrived and saved my blushes,” Guy shudders, “No, I can guarantee it’s not him. Well?”
“OK ... I guess.”
“Heh! You’re gonna LURVE this. THE OLD PRISONER!”
“NOOO! At least let Arthur Rat come along for the ride!” I plead desperately.
“It’s a given. The old sod won’t go anywhere without that tatty rodent. I wish you much joy of the pair of them.”
“At least tell me you’re providing the birthday cake as well. Otherwise you’ll have to wait for me to order my favourite Linzer Torte from a bijou little bakery in Islington! And it’ll be a bit ... limited as regards the space inside.”
“Cake courtesy of Abbot Hugo and the Nunnery of the Little Sisters of Saint Mary Berry!” replies Guy with aplomb, “Now, stand back, babes. We’re coming through!!”
The next few minutes are chaotic as a giant, 3-tier cake hovers in my living room and I have to re-direct it through the glass door to the garden where there is more space. A trail of crumbs follows in its wake, dropped by Arthur Rat who is desperately gnawing a large hole in the bottom tier so that the Old Prisoner can exit – feet first of course. It’s the only way.
“Ready!” calls the old man in muffled tones from within the cake.
Next instant he’s shot out of the ragged hole on his back.
“Thanks for the help shoving me, Arthur!”
“Anytime, boss!” Arthur appears through the gap blowing on his front paws, “Nah-then, if you’ll ‘scuse me, I gotta date with some tasty crumbs in honour of Grondfic’s burfday.”
As Arthur vanishes back into the depths of the cake, the top tier bursts open and everyone else is shot out into the stratosphere. They all land in a heap on top of the Old Prisoner. A fight immediately breaks out.
“Stop this – all of you!” I scream, “You’re ruining my birthday surprise!”
“Too bad!” yells Guy from the top of the heap, “You should have chosen a load of more peaceful characters – like Sergeant Sparrow or Much’s granddad. Now it’s too late. Hasta la vista, baby!”
.... and everything goes dark.....
I wake up to find I’ve been asleep over my laptop. The sofa is no longer comfortable, but lumpy; and my neck is cricked.
The time-display tells me it’s 3.00am and no longer my birthday.
Dammit!
